What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...
Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.
Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave.
Suddenly, on of the muffins says: "Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims, "Look a talking muffin!!!!"
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud
What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
Humphreys
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies !
What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?
DAMN!
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off
What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
I have no I-Deer
What is invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.
What is a dog’s favorite school subject?
"Dog-Ruff-E "
Why are there no aspirins in the jungle?
Because the Parots-ate-em-all
Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Coz they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!
What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
Lipstick
